I found this gut renching expose on the St Louis Post dispatch website
http://www.stltoday.com/mds/news/html/471To most this is probably no big deal. But for me it brings back ALOT of memories. I went to Fort Leonardwood back in November 1997. Seeing all the sites and Drill Seargants really made me kind of sick to my stomach. I joined the Army because I had nothing going right in my life. I was 19 years old, without a job, without a HS diploma, and going down the wrong path FAST. My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years left for college, I had just been fired from my 3rd straight job for not showing up, and I have 12 speeding tickets with 3 warrants for my arrest pending. It was a tough time for me. Everything I had known changed that day I jump on a plane at DFW airport to fly to St Louis. I had never been away from my mom for more that a couple days. I had never been on a plane by myself. Hell I had only ever been on 1 plane in my life. Now it was all me. I got to STL and went to the USO center. There it was my first taste of hurry up and wait. I hurried my butt all the way from DFW to STL just to wait 6+ hours to get on a bus to go 2 1/2 hours to Fort Leonardwood. I remember sitting in the USO thinking I should just go home. I could probably make it too my Grandmaws house just 2 hours into Illinois. What the hell was I doing? But I suck my fears up and stayed there.
The bus ride to FLW was the quitest ride I had ever been on. There were about 40 or 50 people going into the unknown, scared as hell. I remember the "frog" in my throat the whole way. We got to FLW at like 10pm or 11pm at night. They checked us into reception. We did some paperwork and then finally made it to sleep at about 2AM. The next morning we were told we get to sleep in because we were up so late but sleeping in the Army is way different. 7AM they came to get us. Now reception is not really the Army. They do not yell and do crazy stuff to you. You pretty well get medical stuff, a haircut, paperwork, and your clothes issued. I was in reception for a long time due to coming right before Thanksgiving. All the civilian people and Dr's got stay home with there family. That was my first Thanksgiving away from home. I remember sitting eating Turkey and thinking about what was going on at home. I was lonely. I remember the feeling well and it brings tears to my eyes. But after like 2 weeks in reception the REAL Army finally came calling.
That last day at reception was quite. So far the Army was not that bad. No one had yelled at us and everything was good. We went to breakfast and then were told to pack up our bags to get ready to go to our units. We then went to a big meeting room with no chairs or table. They told us to sit on our huge duffle bags with all of our issued clothes inside. I had my huge 125 lb Duffle, a large regular civilian suitcase, and a large green drawstring army bag. All together was was carrying close to 250 lbs easy. So everyone is sitting quitely on there bags. All the civilian people leave and the doors are closed. It is warm in the room as it was cold outside being in the Ozarks in Novemeber. All the sudden a green blur burst through the doors. Like 10 Drill Seargant start screaming, "Get the FUCK UP! On your FUCKIN FEET PRIVATES!". They start targeting people who look week or people who start smiling. They scream in there faces. After about 15 minutes of the screaming they start filing us out the door onto "cattle cars". These are big trailers with no windows. We get pack in there one on top of another. Litterly people are on top of each other trying to keeps are bags under control. They use the "cattle cars" with no windows so as they are taking you to your unit and barrack you do not get a good idea of your surroundings. This make escaping diffecult because you are very confused about exactly were you were and which way was which. I remember I did not figure out the layout of the base unit I left.
So we get to a huge parking lot (they use it for Drill and Cerimony training) and are told to line up. This is what is called "Shake Down". The pretty well search everything you have for contra ban and to make sure you are not missing any of your issued stuff. It is also the first stage in breaking your spirit. They make you dump out all of your 250 lbs of crap and hold up on thing at a time. People who have contra ban stuff get targeted even though some of the items they were flipping about were on a list of approved items. You are told to bring toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, shaving razors, shaving cream, and other items BUT they make you throw away almost all of it because it contains alcohol. So for about 2 to 3 hours this goes on. You go through your stuff, pack it back up, then because you took too long they make you dump it back out! Over and over again. They target people who are caving under the pressure getting in there face, making them do pushups, and calling them insulting names. It was probably the worst 2 hours in my life so far. After they had everyone sweating and frazzled they then have us gather our stuff and sprint about 1/2 a mile up a huge hill to the barracks. This was no easy task with 250 lbs of crap. Then of course my platoon was housed on the 3rd damn floor so after the long sprint with the 250 lbs of stuff I have to make my way up 3 flights of stairs. I remember that on that last few steps I started falling back! I though I was a goner as I was going into muscle failure but the soldier behind my started pushing me on, literally. We through all of our crap into wall lockers and then back downstairs to a "formation". They took us to the "chow hall" which was the fasted meal I had ever eaten (or not eaten depending on how you look at it?). We are told to stand with our nose 1 inch from the back of the next soldier head facing foward. We are not to talk to ANYONE. As we get the the "cashier" area we have to jump to attention and hold our ID cards to our chin and yell out our last 4 digits of our social security number which happens to be our ID number. We proceed in the line to get our food. We have 2 choices of food and a rule that we have to drink at least 2 cups of water at every meal. My Drill Seargant started hounding me from day one about my weight. Soldier you don't need that extra bread. I was hungry for the next 12 weeks straight. LOL.
Later that first night is what I remember most from BCT. I remember they took us out to the pay phones to call home. There was a script posted of what to say. Something like, "Hell (Mom, Dad, responsible relative). I am safely at Basic Training at Fort Leonardwood. I am doing well. I will not be able to call for sometime. If you need to contact me for an emergency call the Red Cross. Goodbye." If course being that I was close to my mom she started crying on the phone and getting histerical. I deviated from the script and the DS started to reach for the phone. I look at him and said "don't hang up on my momma". He then started screaming at me. I was balling like a baby but got out an "I love you! I will call when I can! Everything is going to be alright!" then had to hang up the phone. I was sick to my stomach for 2 days afterward knowing that my mom was upset and that I was not able to console her. It was brutal to call and hear her crying.
We then got to go upstair and go to sleep. It was a restless night for me. I was scared, and upset about my mom. It was one of the longest nights of my life.
